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BREAKING: WHITE HOUSE DENIES REPORTS OF ISLAMIC SUICIDE TURKEY BOMBERS

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(Washington) Fox News-The White House issued a statement that rumors of exploding turkeys being used as weapons are false.
Right Wing blogs such as IHateObama.com have been publishing reports that ISIS has infiltrated the American Thanksgiving Holiday with specially trained Muslim Turkeys,packed with explosive stuffing,to destroy the family dinners of patriots nationwide.
Local Police departments have been receiving calls about exploding turkeys all day.Sgt. Will Copperfield of The Gwinnett Country GA, Police has been fielding calls all day and believe alcohol and paranoia may be the real culprits.
"We have Turkeys blow up every year.",Copperfield told Fox News,"I can't remember everybody thinking it was terrorists before.It used to get blamed on UFOs but since Trump came along,well."
Pat Rihaat,a Gwinnett Country resident said he tried to get help after his Turkey exploded to no avail.
"Every damn year I get my Turkey from a different store."',Rihat said,"Every year after me and my cousins have had our Thanksgiving Jello shots we put that sucker in the fryer and it blows up.You don't think that is ISIS? This year we had a little suprise for them.My boys all brought their guns to dinner and we blew that dirty Islamic bird right back to Obamistan.Along with the neighbor's cat.As soon as I get out of jail I need to make up for that,but I did keep my family safe.
Fox news is examining sent footage of Turkey bomb incidents and will have a follow up report as soon as our witnesses sober up.

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